Best Of A Reluctant Mom

Today's post, entitled Kids Suck Sometimes, ran on May 11, 2006

Last night I made two juicy steaks, mashed potatoes, asparagus and corn on the cob for dinner. A well-rounded meal, don’t you think? My kids didn’t eat one bite. Not one. Well, Aimee didn’t eat one bite. She kept shaking her head and saying, “No!” (or, more like “naw,” because she can’t quite say “no” yet). I think Lily had two bites. Seriously. I sat there, enjoying my meal, and thought, you two kids just suck. I slaved away, prepared a nice meal and basically got the middle finger from not one, but two children.

What pissed me off is that both kids have eaten everything I served last night before. And usually, if they don’t want to eat meat (which happens often), I know they will at least eat the mashed potatoes or corn on the cob, and always the asparagus. But they didn’t last night. And no, they aren’t sick, and no, they weren’t too tired. They just get that way sometimes. But I refused to let it get to me. I sat, enjoyed my meal and thought, “This too shall pass.”

My friend Harriet has a son, Peter, who eats almost anything. I remember once Harriet, Peter, a few other friends and I all went out to dinner (this was long before I had children). Peter was the only child at the table and the restaurant was not kid-friendly. Meaning, there were no kids’ meals, no chicken fingers, nothing that most children prefer to eat.

Harriet eyed the menu, looked at Peter and said, “Peter, do you want the Mahi-Mahi or the octopus?”
Peter thought for a moment and said, “Mahi-Mahi.”
“Broccoli or asparagus?’ she asked.
“Broccoli,” he said.

We all stared at Harriet in amazement.

“Okay, Harriet, what’s your secret?” I asked her.

She just shrugged and said, “When your kids are ready for solid food, start them on vegetables. In fact, only give them vegetables for a long, long time.”

“Why just vegetables?” I asked.

“Because fruit is sweet. And all children love sweet foods, especially fruit. Plus, some veggies are sweet, such as carrots and sweet potatoes. Anyway, this way you get their palate accustomed to a variety of tastes.”

She also recommended making the baby food myself, but I didn’t because I couldn’t get it together. I bought baby food instead, which turned out to be fine.

The result of Harriet’s advice was having a child who ate everything. Seriously. Lily ate Indian and Thai curries, Japanese food, pasta, pretty much anything I put in front of her. I remember other moms at the playgroups looking at me like, “You’re feeding your baby chili?” But she ate it, and did so eagerly.

The same theory applied to feeding yogurt. I couldn't bear the thought of giving my kids sugary yogurt, so I just gave them plain yogurt. One book I read said, "You baby doesn't know yogurt yet, so feeding her plain yogurt will allow her to eat it without all the additives and preservatives." Lily ate this food, too, with gusto.

Then she turned two and a half. All of a sudden, Lily got an opinion. At three she got even more picky, and now at four, she’s even more so. But I still feed her all those foods, and even if she doesn’t eat them all, I ask her to try them. I tell her if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to eat it, but she has to try. Then, it’s her choice if she wants to eat or not. But she and Aimee know whatever Mom makes is all they get. There are no kids’ menus in my house, and there are no second meals.

I know other moms who are fine with making two meals for dinner. I barely have enough time to make one meal, let alone two. Plus, I don’t want my kids thinking the world revolves around them. The foods I serve are often fresh, healthful and nutritious. Of course that doesn’t mean I don’t indulge them once and a while and serve chicken nuggets or grilled cheese. But even those foods are not the typical kinds. I make grilled cheese with provolone instead of American cheese, and I use Smart Balance spread instead of butter. The chicken nuggets I serve are Bell & Evans chicken breasts. They are organic, have no preservatives or hormones and are antibiotic-free. They are breaded but not cooked, so I bake them in the oven. So even when my kids think they are getting a kid-friendly meal, I know better.

Experts tell you to not pay a lot of attention to a child when he or she is eating because if you focus on their eating too much and get stressed out if they don’t eat, the child picks up on your reaction and refuses to eat even more. Plus, children eat when they are hungry. I find this advice to be totally true, yet I can’t help but get frustrated, especially after a scene like last night. Yet both my kids went to bed and slept perfectly fine. This morning, they ate like lions after a hunt.

I guess the experts are right. I just wish the experts would come over and have dinner with me on a night like last night.