What Honor?

Here’s how she handled it: she lied to my face.

We had a Brownie outing last weekend and we took the girls to a nearby Planetarium. (Click here to read the first part of this story.) During the intermission I noticed many of the girls in Lily’s troop had different badges. I decided to approach the whole “thanks for leaving my kid out” subject by instead pointing out the different badges and asking why each girl’s vest looked so different.

“I don’t get it,” I said. “Aren’t they all participating in the same activities?”

“Well, it depends,” the leader said. “Was your daughter at all the activities?”

She pointed to a one badge and asked if Lily was at that meeting. I knew she wasn't because we were out of town for it.

“No, she wasn’t there for that one,” I said.

Then the leader admitted she and her daughter often go through the Girl Scout badge book and earn some of the badges on their own. “The book is only ten dollars,” she said. “You and Lily could earn a few together, too.”

Right. Because, who wouldn't live for earning badges in their free time?

“But isn’t the whole point that the girls at this age earn the badges together to feel a part of a team?” I asked her. “I mean, it isn’t a competition, is it?”

“No,” she said. “And no again.” She said it was up to the girls if they wanted to earn extra badges on their own.

As if all 7-year-olds are aware enough to know they can earn badges (or even care, for that matter). I know this has never been told to the troops or the moms, for that matter.

Finally I had had enough. “Okay, but has there ever been an instance where some of the girls earned a badge together without the rest of the troop?” I asked.

“Nope,” she said.

I wanted to scream, “Liar! Liar!” Instead, I bit my tongue.

I spoke to a friend of mine whose daughter is also in the troop. Her daughter also participated in the Mother of God badge. I explained my position. “I think what she did was really divisive,” I said. “If the whole point of being in a troop is to teach teamwork, as well as tolerance and understanding, how is earning a separate, selective badge beneficial?”

My friend understood my point completely. She said the troop leader was not malicious but, rather, was very religious and wanted her daughter to earn the badge. She just figured other Catholic moms would want the same for their kids. “In other words,” I said, “she didn’t think about the rest of the girls and how they would feel.”

My friend told me she wanted to talk to the troop leader about the incident. “No, don’t,” I said. “There isn’t anything that can be done. I don’t want a religious badge. I just want the girls to not feel singled out. Plus, I don't like that she lied to me.”

She begged me to let her talk to the woman. I finally conceded. “If you think it will help,” I said. “But don’t make me out to be ‘that mom,’ okay?”

“I promise,” she said.

To be continued…

Photo by Pam Roth, courtesy of stock.xchng