Electric Company

When Lily was 4 years old a friend came over to play. The girl arrived at the door with expensive headphones and a new MP3 player she had just received for her birthday (Seriously? The girl was 5 years old. I don’t understand why anyone would give a pricey gift to a child that age.)

I knew from the sight of her the play date would go quickly downhill. A few minutes after she arrived I heard Lily say, “But why won’t you play with me?”

The girl ignored her and continued to listen to her headphones. I glanced down and saw her sitting with her back to Lily. She became visibly annoyed when she got interrupted. Finally, after Lily began to get really upset and the girl continued to ignore her, I went downstairs.

“Why don’t we put these away?” I asked gently. The girl shook her head and grabbed the music player away from me. “I just want to listen to my music!” she said.

When I realized I couldn’t persuade the girl to play, I called her parents and had them pick her up.

“Who lets a kid bring something like that to a play date?” my husband asked me. “I mean, how could they possibly play together with that?”

A few weeks ago another friend of Lily’s came over with a Nintendo DS. “Look what I brought,” the girl said to Lily.

“Is that something you can play together?” I asked. I’m a complete moron when it comes to electronics because, again – and call me crazy – I don’t understand why a 7-year-old should own a $150 device.

“Well, I can with it play for a while and then she can play with it after me,” the girl said.

“Wow, that sounds like a cool game,” I said. “But it also sounds like it’s kind of hard to share. So why don’t I hold it here and you guys can play with some of the other things we have downstairs?”

This time (thankfully) the girl happily handed me the DS and ran to play with Lily. As a result the play date was successful and everyone had a good time.

I’ll admit I’m an old timer when it comes to electronics, but I have done a lot of research on the subject and discovered I'm not far off the mark. I know old-fashioned play – where kids use their imagination instead of being told by a piece of equipment what to do – is not only beneficial it’s important to a child’s development. Using a video game or even a toy that is from a television show limits the child’s ability to think outside the box. (Click here and click here to read more on the importance of imaginative play.)

I’m not totally against electronic games and even want to get one of those fancy thingamajigs for our family. I event think playing these games together can be a lot of fun. But sitting mindlessly in front of a television for a large part of the day is not only discouraged by the American Academy of Pediatrics (which recommends no more than a total amount of two hours of screen time per day, and none for children under 2 years old), but is also a contributor to childhood obesity (click here to read more on risk factors for childhood obesity).

I understand it’s sometimes easier to give in when a child says, “I’m bored!” What parents don’t realize is boredom is a Catch-22. The child, who becomes accustomed to the fast pace of a video game or television screen, has a harder time slowing his or her mind down for normal play. Readers of this blog know I don’t allow my kids to television Monday through Friday (and haven’t for several years now, even when they were little and I wanted to blow my brains out). Guess what happened as a result of no television? My girls learned to play together. They also became incredibly imaginative. If they’re not in the mood to play they will read, listen to music, do a craft or practice piano (without my nagging to do so). I think most parents would be surprised how creative kids become when they are forced to think of things to occupy their time.

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng