What If?

When Lily was 4 years old, I tried to play a game with her to teach her about strangers. (Click here to read more on that egregious experiment.) I also tried to explain how to call 9-1-1. (Again, bad idea. Click above to see how stupid I was.)

Lately, however, I’ve been reading a lot about playing the “What If?” game with my girls. The idea is to pick a time when kids are off guard; while you’re driving in the car, when you’re taking a walk, whenever, and ask them questions about difficult subjects. Moms I know who have older kids tell me this is the most effective way to get their kids’ attention. I believe them.

So yesterday I decided to play the game with Aimee first, then Lily. To my utter surprise (and delight – hey, I finally parented correctly!) they both answered appropriately.

Here’s a recap:

Aimee and I were outside raking leaves (which, in my backyard with 17 very old trees and 9 billion leaves, can take weeks to finish) and I said, “Hey, Aimee, we’re going to play the ‘what if’ game.”

Aimee, thrilled because Mommy is finally going to play with her, said, “What is it, Mommy?”

Me: “Ready? Here goes: What if Mom and Dad were outside working in the yard and you and Lily were inside having a snack and one of you started to choke. What would you do?”

Aimee: “Run outside and tell Mommy.”

Me: “Good answer!”

(Aimee began to beam with pride.)

Me: “Okay, what if you were home with a babysitter or Nana or Anna and something happened to them and they couldn’t get up or talk or anything.”

Aimee: “Like what?”

Me: “Let’s say they fell down the steps and hurt themselves. What would you do?”

Aimee, thinking for a minute: “Call Mommy.”

Me: “Hmm. Okay. What’s Mommy’s number?”

Aimee: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Tricky. So if you can’t call Mommy and you need to get help, who do you call?”

Aimee: “9-1-1.”

Me: “Right! So how do you do that?”

She described how she would get the phone, hit the “talk” button and dial.

I pretended I was the 9-1-1 dispatcher and asked her emergency.

“My babysitter is hurt,” she said.

I asked where she lived and she recited our address perfectly.

“Great job!” I said.

I went over the same questions with Lily later on that evening at dinner. She, too, got the answers right. They liked playing the game so much they made me come up with more questions. So I asked what would happen if they were at someone’s house and a sibling or parent tried to touch their privates.

They both giggled and said they would tell them not to.

“No!” I shouted, smiling. They jumped.

“Mommy, you scared us!” they said.

“Exactly,” I said. “See how when you shout the word ‘no,’ you scare the person? Well, that’s the point. Whenever someone does something you don’t want, shout at them.”

I went on to say it’s okay to make mistakes and reiterated how no matter what, they will never get in trouble if they make a mistake about these things. “No one is perfect, and if anyone ever does anything to you that you don’t want, I will never be upset with you.”

"I like this game," Lily said.

"Me, too!" Aimee said.

That makes three of us.