9/11

Today is the seventh anniversary of 9/11 and I wanted to extend my sincerest condolences to those whose families were affected by this unspeakable tragedy. I hope you have found the love and support you needed to get through the loss.

I was four months pregnant with Lily when the terrorists struck the Twin Towers. My husband, who worked in New Jersey at the time, used to go through the World Trade Center every morning to get to work (we lived in Manhattan). Thankfully – and luckily – we happened to be attending my friend Susanna’s wedding in Los Angeles. I remember feeling guilty for being so far away when something so awful affected so many of my friends in New York. I was also extremely thankful to be away from all the terribly polluted air that happened as a result of the towers crashing down. I was, after all, pregnant with my first child, and the last thing I wanted was to expose my baby to anything that harmful. I was also thankful I wasn’t sitting in front of my television set watching the towers fall and wondering if my husband was all right.

I consider myself a lucky person. Luck has come to me in obvious ways, but many times it comes with a massive consequence.

Here is how I felt: I was an American, struck deeply by this tragedy. I felt anger and sorrow. My heart wept for those whose loved ones died. I also happen to be a Muslim (I was born and raised in the United States, so I identified myself as an American first, Muslim second). I remember my first thought as I saw the planes hit was, “Please don’t let that be a Muslim terrorist.” I actually hoped the men (and I use that term loosely, for no “man” would ever commit such a heinous act) were related to Timothy McVeigh.

We all know my fears were corroborated.

This blog is about raising strong-willed children. I have yet to find something to help me raise Muslim-American children who will probably face massive ridicule and jeering by their peers. We are not a religious family, but we are what I call "cultural Muslims." We celebrate both Christmas and Eid (my husband’s family is Unitarian, so we include his family’s traditions in ours.) So even though we appear “normal,” we are different.

What many people don’t realize is those terrorists hijacked American Muslims and Arab-Americans (who are Christian, Muslim and Jewish). People in the Middle East got lumped together (and if you knew anything about the Middle East, doing just that is insult enough – just because they speak a common language doesn’t mean they love each other). Cultural lines became blurred. Religion became vastly misunderstood. Islam became a hateful word and Muslims became the enemy. I found myself apologizing for something I not only didn’t agree with but also despised myself. I became a spokesman for what moderate Muslims believed and spoke loudly against those who used Islam and God to kill. (Click here to read a Letter to the Editor I wrote that got published in the New York Times.)

I was not at all comfortable in my new role. I’m still not. I don’t want to explain something that I think is obvious. Considering millions of Muslims have lived in the United States for decades – decades! – and there has never been a problem, I can’t help but wonder if Americans have amnesia. You may not have know we were Muslim because we “fit in,” but we have been here all along. And we have been contributors to society.

What I want people to know is this: Muslims who are born and raised in the United States feel just as American as you do. My mom, who immigrated 44 years ago, feels even more American than you do – she struggled to move here and became a naturalized citizen. She abandoned her homeland for this one. We know this is a great country – why else would we be here?

Oh, and by the way, I need to clarify something that is commonly misunderstood. Allah is just an Arabic word for God. This is the same God that Christians and Jews believe in. In fact, Catholics in Malta call God Allah because their language is derived from Arabic. Muslims believe in the same prophets, and they also believe Jesus is the messiah. They believe in a virgin birth. The only difference (well, main difference) between Islam and Christianity is Muslims believe Jesus is simply a prophet, not the son of God.

I hope my children grow up without being called racial slurs. I hope they get enough love and support at home it protects them from those who want to single them out. But most of all, I just hope my fellow Americans will realize every race, creed and religion has its lunatics. Unfortunately, the Muslim morons who commit these crimes seem to be the most ambitious right now.